Opinions
by Kara Nightingale
Summary: This is a one-shot. It is about Mikan's opinion on Natsume and how a certain series of events changes her opinion about him. :3:


Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or it's characters.

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Natsume. Whenever someone asks me about Natsume, I have always replied that he is a complicated, perverted jerk. But in truth, despite what I have just said, we are actually enemies turned best friends and our friendship is more of a like-hate kind, where we like each other enough as human beings, acknowledge each other worthy as a friend, and hate each other at certain moments. It is the truth and I don't see the need in lying. I just didn't know that our friendship was that fragile and that everything could change in a blink of an eye and it did.

Ever since I entered the academy when I was ten years old, Natsume and I didn't exactly like each other. In fact, loathe was a more appropriate term, we just hated each other's guts that badly. It has always been easy for me to make friends with people, even if the person is stoic and cold like Hotaru, and I have never hated anyone before in my life. However, Natsume was definitely a different case. He was hard to deal with, even harder than Hotaru, and I hated him like crazy.

To start with, on our very first meeting, he had managed to remove my underwear and made me burst out in tears, which is something logical to do when you have miraculously been removed of your underwear by a boy. Then, we somehow ended up being classmates and even worse, seatmate/partner and as if that wasn't bad enough, he started calling me by the pattern of my underwear in public and during every opportunity that he had or when he was losing an argument with me. We swore that we could never be friends and that was actually the first thing we had ever agreed on in our life.

But after a year in the academy and gradually though reluctantly –everyone tried to reduce the hate(?)– warming up to each other, the hate was not as strong as before –but it was still there– and we began having casual, normal conversations but it still consisted stuffs like "idiot", "pervert" and all the other crap we used to throw at each other.

And it was through those conversations, that I found out that he was not that big of a jerk I had make out of him. He was actually a decent, normal person. It's just that he prefers not to show it to people since he has always been labeled as dangerous, due to his alice. According to Ruka –since Natsume refuses to tell me anything about his past even after years of our friendship–, there was actually a time where Natsume used to smile and lived a carefree and happy life. But everything changed when his village was burned down and the people blamed Natsume for causing it when they found out about his alice. He obviously didn't do it and considering that the fire was actually caused by his sister, he wanted to protect her, he took the blame and was sent to the academy in her place, when he was really young.

Let's just say that the academy's students aren't the nicest bunch of people and he had a really, really tough time back then. So, he actually decided to lock away any hint of emotion, to avoid getting hurt. Hence, the heartless, complicated, perverted jerk that I met when I was ten. And after finding that out about his past, it kind of soften me up and the thought of becoming his friend wasn't that bad after all. It was around then that I started approaching him and talked to him and tried to be his friend, which is evidently a success, since we did turn into best friends later on.

For the past six years of our friendship, Natsume have been surprisingly, a great friend. Not that I'm a terrible friend. Anyway, whenever I have problems with my studies, which was pretty often, he would help me with it, though he would scold and lecture me while he was at it. But it was his weird and twisted way of showing that he cared. We would also spend time talking about crap and update each other on the happenings in school. Well, I did most of the talking and he did all of the hearing. It was fine that way, how everything seemed so perfect. We would argue sometimes, get really pissed off at each other and by the next day, it was like it never happen.

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But everything has changed now. It happened so fast that I'm not sure what is going on anymore. The change started two months ago, roughly around when Jun entered the academy. Jun's alice which is the alice to never fall –as in he has never fall in his life, physically– was the kind of alice that is hard to be discovered. Also, his parents are not alice users, so they just naturally thought that he was really well balance kid, until recently somehow the academy's people found out about his alice and dragged him in.

Seeing as he was new to the academy –he was only here for around a week only– and the academy is too big for it's sake, he got lost and started wandering around the academy until he spotted me near the Sakura Tree, where Natsume and I normally meet after school. Ruka used to join us too but nowadays, he is just too busy with Hotaru –since they are dating– and Hotaru doesn't like the outdoors much. That day, Natsume was a little busy since Ruka wanted to talk to him about something and he told me to just meet up during dinner instead, like how we would usually meet up with Ruka and Hotaru.

But I wanted to sit under the Sakura Tree since it had become a habit of mine and that was how I met Jun. He came up to me and asked me for directions and soon, we started drifting off the topic of directions to other topics. Jun is such a nice and funny guy and I had an instant liking to him. So, when we were going to the dinner hall for dinner and he claimed that he had an instant liking to me too and wanted me to be his girlfriend, I agreed to it. I am a 17 year old girl and I have never found a person who I like enough to date till Jun came along.

After agreeing to Jun's proposal, we went our separate ways at the dinner hall since he wanted to meet up with his friends and I wanted to tell Natsume the great news. But Natsume didn't seemed as ecstatic as I thought he would be, not that I have ever seen him ecstatic, but I just didn't feel his joy for my happiness when he congratulated me. In fact, it felt a little dead by the way he said it too, it sounded a little force. Then again, anything nice he says always sound a little weird.

Anyway, not long after Jun and I started going out for a week, I wanted to properly introduce him to my friends since we are in different classes and he only knows bits and pieces about them through me. So, I organized a mini party in my three star room and invited all of them, including Natsume. He was even the first person I invited to the party. Though in the end, he never showed up and when I confronted him in his room –a few days later– as to why he didn't attend, he told me that he needed to rest since sports day was the day after. The thing is, we just finished our sports day TWO WEEKS AGO.

But I didn't dare to correct him about his lame excuse like I normally would, a part of me just asked me to shut up and walk away from his room and I did. Ever since then, he started avoiding me like the plague but in a more subtle way. He first started with avoiding me whenever Jun was around. Then, over the time, we met less and less. He started avoiding the Sakura Tree, or at least the time when I'm around it. He would even eat his meals way early or way late.

Soon, I realize that we only meet during classes and during then, he would sleep or pretend to sleep, rather similar to how he used to be when I just started out at the academy. He even started acting like how he was back then whenever he was around me but he remained normal around everyone else. That was when I noticed how our friendship had gone downhill so terribly.

And after realizing that, a week or two later, Jun broke up with me. Because it seems that he couldn't take it anymore. Everything I ever talked about was Natsume this and Natsume that. He just couldn't stand it anymore, seeing how his girlfriend was talking and caring more about her best friend, instead of him. Surprisingly, even though I claimed that I like him very much, it didn't feel as bad as I expected it to be. Everything was just so weird, I lost a best friend and a boyfriend. But somehow, losing Natsume felt so much more painful and unbearable compared to losing Jun and I just couldn't figure out why.

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In the end, I decided to sit and think things through under the Sakura Tree, alone. But it was not as bad or pathetic as it seemed, it was actually quite nice, just sitting there with the wind gently passing by while the leaves seemed to be dancing in the air. Somehow, it felt like the wind and the leaves were trying to cheer me up and succeeding. My mood was definitely getting better bits by bits and the world seemed so soothing and less frustrating. And before I knew it, I fell asleep under the tree.

When I woke up from my nap, I was definitely shocked to see what I was sleeping on. I was sleeping on Natsume's lap while he was leaning against the tree bark, reading his manga, as usual. He seemed so calm from where I was looking, it was almost like he doesn't have a bother in the world and nothing can get to him, kind of like a baby. It would have been nice to be able to stay like that forever. But getting up seemed like the more logical thing to do, things had been weird enough and I needed answers to my questions.

He seemed to have notice me getting up because he closed his manga and put it aside. Once I got up and was sitting on my own and facing him, we both just stared at each other for awhile. I don't know how long we were staring at each other but all of a sudden, he broke off contact first and it felt weird. It was almost like he was trying to search for something or confirm something when he was staring at me and I felt a little disappointed when he looked away. Then he broke off the awkward silence that fell upon us with "So, I heard you broke up with Jun, huh?"

I was a little shocked when he said that, it sounded more of a statement, rather than a question. It felt weird having hear him say that, it wasn't like I was hurt over the break up and mentioning Jun's name was hurting me but hearing him say that made me felt like dating Jun was probably one of the stupidest thing I've ever done. I didn't know what to say, so I replied with a simple "Yeah". I had so many questions that I wanted to ask but my throat went dry and I couldn't seem to voice out any of my thoughts. But what must be done, must be done.

So, I took in a deep breath and decided to ask whatever that comes to mind, which was "Why have you been avoiding me?" Surprisingly, he didn't run away or avoid the question like I imagined him to do and instead he just sighed loudly. He then got up from his position of leaning against the tree bark and readjusted how he was seating, so that he was directly facing me and said, "You don't get it, do you?" Obviously not getting it, I asked him, "Get what?"

Then, he looked away and ruffled up his hair, looked firmly into my eyes, and said, "I like you". The moment he said that, it didn't occur to me what kind of like he was referring to and I told him off with "Yeah. I know and so does everyone who knows us. Our relationship has always been a like-hate relationship, so why are you mentioning it now? It doesn't answer my question." I noticed that at the beginning of my reply, he looked really shocked but once I was at the middle of it, he suddenly looked like he was a little disappointed and ready for murder.

Before I could even ask him anything more, he suddenly gently held both sides of my face with his hands and firmly yet calmly said, "I like you, you idiot. I like you more than a friend. I have always liked you. Why do you think I bother protecting you when some guys are taking advantage of you or tutor you when you are bad in your subject or get frustrated when something happens to you or avoid you when you started dating that stupid, good for nothing guy? It's all because I like you. Do you get it now? I. Like. You."

Well, at first I was really confuse by what he was saying. But after he bluntly said it out like that, it was hard for me to not get it. So, all I did, and could do, was slowly nod my head. I can't believe I didn't notice that, it had never occur to me that he would ever like me more than a friend. I mean, he certainly didn't seem like he was interested in me, with the fighting and arguing we do every day. But I guess, being the only girl that was close to him should have tipped me off.

However, before I could even think deeper about the issue, he suddenly broke off the silence that once again crept up on us –when I was reasoning with myself– and asked, "Well?" Confuse and feeling slightly light headed with the sudden confession, I just managed to "huh" him. Then, he asked, "Do you like me?" I obviously had no idea myself, I had never thought about him that way. I have always seen him as a best friend that will always be there for me to cry on, to fight with and to just simply spend time with. But oddly enough, I found myself answering "I think so. I'm not sure myself".

Then, he did something really unexpectedly sweet, he pulled me into a hug and whispered, "It's good enough for me and for now". That was probably the sweetest thing he have ever done to me, in my life. After that, we spent the remaining evening under the Sakura Tree till dinner time, watching the sunset, together, like always. But that day, it felt different, the feeling of watching the sunset with him was different.

* * *

Now that few days have passed and I have seriously thought it through, I know for sure that I like him, more that a friend. Maybe I liked him a long time ago but I just never thought about it because I didn't want to screw up our friendship. It makes perfect sense. The fact that I was so frustrated when I noticed that he was ignoring/avoiding me and I didn't feel anything much when I broke up with Jun or when Natsume called him a 'stupid, good for nothing guy'.

But I'll leave Natsume hanging for now as payback for avoiding me like the plague earlier. I'm not saying a word to him till he asks me. However, from now on, if someone asks me about Natsume again, I'll definitely tell them that he is still a complicated, perverted jerk but he is _my _complicated, perverted jerk. The rest would be up to their imagination since I don't know what the future has in store for us.

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Author's Note: This story is actually inspired by a friend of mine. I just wanted to say that. Anyway, tell me what you think about this story, like if you find this story weird or something. Constructive criticism is always welcome but please, refrain from flaming me. Thank you.

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